Bliggity Bloggity Boo(b)

Black Friday

I've always gone out to do the crazy Black Friday thing, and this year was no exception...with a twist. My girlfriend and high school buddy, Donna, volunteered to drive me to Torrey Pines for my bone scan.  The scheduler was awesome and scheduled my radioactive injection for 7:30 a.m., so we could hit the early bird sales and be back at the hospital by 10:30 for my scan.  By 7:40 we were on our way to UTC to see what damage we could do.

I hadn't been to UTC in years, so Donna showed me the way to all the cool stores. First we went to a bakery to have a breakfast sandwich - lord knows we women couldn't shop without nourishment. Fueled up and a cup of coffee under our belts and we hit the mall.  Crate & Barrel, The Pottery Barn, and Anthropologie were decorator's delights.  We mostly looked, but each bought a little something from Anthropologie.  Then, Donna took me to my new favorite store, Chicos!  They had such fun clothes that I had to buy me an outfit.  What better way to start my Christmas shopping than with a little something for me!  Now I'm just waiting for it to cool off a tad so I can wear my new vest with faux fur lining, along with the matching slacks and blouse. Oh, and did I mention I found a necklace and earrings to match?

Rejuvenated by our shopping extravaganza, we headed back to the hospital for the scan. It was actually relaxing as I closed my eyes and rested (my eyes were very red and itchy I'm presuming from the chemo that was doing crazy numbers to my body) for about 20 minutes. The machine proclaimed that yes, I do have bones, and I was sent on my way.

I went home & took a nap (chemo is a really great excuse to take a nap any time you feel like it - nobody questions you :-). The rest of the day was uneventful - which is a good thing - and I finished a small quilted wall hanging that's been nagging me to be completed for awhile.

A Thankful day

Thanksgiving was quiet and we had a great day.  The boys pitched in to make dinner, dessert and appetizers and we had a fabulous meal.

Kyle and Sean made deviled eggs, Sean made a key lime pie, Kyle made a chocolate pie, Tyler made the stuffing and stuffed the bird, and he was the chief dishwasher while I helped the other boys with the pies.

It was great to have so much help for a change, as I usually prepare the entire meal myself.  I felt pretty good all day, just got a bit tired, and it was easy to sneak in a nap.

I'm thankful for my awesome family for helping make this another great Thanksgiving.

A rainbow - that says it all

    

Today was chemo day.  Kinda like the first day of school when you're a little bit scared and not quite sure what to expect. Will the nurse like me?  Will she stick a vein the first time or will it take her 3-4 shots? Will the drugs make friends with me, or will they make me want to hate them and slap them around?

We had an all-around good plan going in, and everything went A-OK. My friend Pamela, crafty queen of the south, sent me a chemo kit.  For those of you non-crafty folks who don't get why we get so consumed with our crafts, bear with me. Crafting is what we do to relax, express our creativity, and to just hang and bond with other creative friends. It also keeps our minds off nasty things like cancer invasions.

Sis took me to the oncologist, and then to the chemo treatment room.  We opened the kit and oohed and aahed at all of the fun things in store. Cross-stitch table runner, a cool star ornament to be stitched and beaded, tags to be stamped (ink pad included), a book that only a one-boobed woman could love "Lopsided. How having breast cancer can be really distracting", pom-poms to celebrate the end of the first treatment, and for those of you who live in So. Cal. and will get why this is funny, a coffee cup from a coffee house in Georgia named "Beaner's Coffee".  Yes, they since have renamed their business to Biggby Coffee, I'll leave it at that.

The promise of a chemo room with an ocean view was false (sad face). It turns out that there will be one by next year, but too late for me to enjoy it. Can ya imagine enjoying a chemo room?

I was a tad worried about the IV since last week the nurse had one helluva time. But this woman had her act together, heated up my arm with a heating pad for about 20 minutes, and my veins were popping up as if to get a glimpse of who would be poking them next.  She nailed it, and I was on my way. First, 2 different anti-nausea drugs, then the good stuff.  The first was Adriamycin, that goes in red and comes out red, if you know what I mean, and the second was Cytoxan. Very different sensations occured during the process and well into the evening. Tingling in the arm, dull pain in the arm, tingling in the head, headache, tingling in the chest, etc.  But, the cool thing was that each sensation only lasted about 2-3 minutes, and then it subsided until the next occurred.

Sis started working on the star ornament with the gold stitching and we laughed and giggled as she tried to remember how to do the stem stitch. I started on the the cross-stitch table runner, but my vision went a tad blurry, so I switched to stamping tags. It was fun making different ones, and a bit of a challenge as I was using my left hand. But the nurses thought they were awesome.

The whole treatment lasted 2 hours, not too bad since I was expecting 4. Then we packed up and headed home and just as we got on hwy 56 headed east, there was the most beatiful full rainbow that guided us across the freeway toward home. Surely it was a sign that all would be well, the cancer drugs will be kicking butt, and I will be well on my way to being totally healthy again.

The big news is the anti-nausea drugs worked!  I went home and made up my pumpkin pie filling, Denny had his first crack at rolling out pie crust (and did a beautiful job I might add), and I cooked up the giblets, sausage, onions and celery in preparation for stuffing the bird tomorrow. I was unsure how I would feel on Thanksgiving, so the top priority was #1, get the homemade pumpkin pies done, followed by #2, get the stuffing done.  The rest could be left up to the boys and Denny if necessary.

By the end of the evening I was worn out, but not NAUSEOUS - WOO-HOO!

My adorable new hat

Can I just tell you how excited I am?  My niece, Sara, who is 9 years old, came over this evening with the most priceless gift. She sewed me a lavendar fleece hat for me to wear when I lose my hair, so my head won't get cold. She only began sewing last year when she received a sewing machine for her 9th birthday from her grandma. She's really quite the seamstress and I am thrilled to receive such a soft, beautifully colored and useful gift.  I'll add the photo tomorrow!

This struck me as funny

This afternoon, I was going through all of my cancer literature and came across the instructions for physical therapy. I had remembered what the physical therapist told me in the hospital, and to be honest with you, I was doing some exercises, but clearly not what I was supposed to do. So I dug right in and started the stretches and movement that will take me back to normalcy.

I was doing the second round and was in my kitchen facing the wall of measurements. This wall has all  the growth charts for my kids, my grandkids, my adopted children such as Scott Haynes from Scouts, and even the dreaded beer belly measurements of my three brothers when they came last year to help me celebrate my 50th birthday.  OMG, it's so freaking funny to see my never had a beer gut in my life middle brother next to the other two (I'll leave it at that).

So my exercise consisted of standing 6 inches away from the wall, and reaching up with my right (good) hand as far as I could. Then, I had to do my "let your fingers do the walking" exercise to inch my hand up the wall. As I was doing this, I was carrying on a conversation with Kyle. After the 3rd reaching exercise he asked me what I was doing. I told him I was working on trying to reach the tape I put on the wall with my right hand. Without missing a beat, he says, "why didn't you just ask me to do it?"

The fact that he was so clueless as to the point of the exercise really hit a chord with me.  OK, humor me...I'm looking for entertainment.  One more day until I'm back into the throes of employment.  I'm really excited, and hope that they "get it" that I really do intend to kick-ass and do a great job - in spite of chemo.

Feeling like a pin cushion

I started my pre-chemo tests today and the first one was an EKG at 7:15 this morning. It all was going well, until the tech got to a certain part that was obscured by scar tissue from my mastectomy.  Try as he might, he just couldn't get a good picture. So they needed to give me an IV with a contrast in it so they could see what's going on. The trouble was the nurse tried 4 times and couldn't get a good stick, so she called in the reinforcements.  The new nurse was able to get it the first time. I asked them if I could leave in the catheter for my 11:30 appointment, because they too needed to give me an IV for a contrast for the PET scan.

They called in the cardiologist and he said while they're really not supposed to let a patient leave with it in, he didn't think I looked like a child of the 60's who would relish the opportunity to have a clear avenue for recreational drugs. Woo-hoo, I didn't need to have yet another nurse struggle with finding a vein. Another simple thankful moment.

When I got to Scripps Torrey Pines, on-time at 11:45, I was met with a delay due to scanner malfunctions. Having worked for HP for 30 years, I was more than used to technical glitches when equipment failed to cooperate. Being the prepared person that I am, I blissfully sat and read the second of Lance Armstrong's books. If you haven't read these, you need to now. They will give you a whole different perspective on life.  He has such a kick-butt attitude, and that's exactly what I'm trying to emulate.  I'm not even close to cycling and racing the Tour de France, but I am pleased as punch that I completed my first cyling adventure, last year, at the mid-life age of 50, and was able to keep up with (sort of), my then 77 year-old mom. 

The techs and nurses there were surprised, but pleased that I already had a catheter in place due to my "bad stick" at the RB office. They gave me contrast liquid to drink for the CT scan, followed by contrast injections into the IV - no pain, I might add.

Once we finally did the scans, it was a tad weird, but not that big of deal. You just lay on this bed that moves in and out of the Star Trek cylindrical machine, while it hums and whirs and does it's thin.

After that, just headed back home to the hum drum normalcy of our life in beautiful sunny So Cal.  And...much to my surprise, when I arrived home there was a beautiful flower arrangement from my very first boss at HP and his awesome wife. I'm telling you, there is nothing better than HP friends who stick by you to the end. It meant so much to me that they sent the beautiful gesture of hope and positive vibes to keep me kickin' it in the right directions.  I love you both John and Jeanne, and thanks for sticking by me.  Get your walkin' shoes shined, because we're all going to do the 3-day walk next year and make strides for putting breast cancer to rest.

Hair!

Flow it, Show it;

Long as I can buy it, My Hair!

My favorite neighbor, Karen, and I went to go pick up my wig this morning. She was so cute when I told her I wanted to go get it this week, before I started chemo. I told her I had a couple of girlfriends that offered to go with me, but she insisted, "No, call me first".

She drove us over to Carlsbad to Patti Joyce's house (Patti is the incredible wig lady who only has fabulous, real looking wigs . As I sat in the vanity chair and Patti was putting on and adjusting my wig, Karen just sat there and stared at me. She couldn't believe how real the wig looks.  Patti trimmed it a bit more for me, and just as we were getting ready to leave, another couple arrived for their appointment.

They were a couple  in their 70's, and the woman was undergoing treatement for colon cancer. The man looks at Karen and I and says, you ladies don't look like you belong here. I piped up with, "one of us does". He asks, who, and I tell him it's me and that I wanted to get my wig prior to chemo, so I wouln't look like one of the depressed chemo ladies with the butt-ugly scarves. When I told him I was wearing a wig, he couldn't believe it. His wife had a really bad looking one, and I'm guessing she was there to get one that looks real.  They were astonished that I was wearing a wig and kept remarking at how natural it looked.

Karen and I then left and went to this awesome fish market/restaurant called Pelly's.  My friend, Lillian, had introduced me to the restaurant when I first went to try on wigs. They have the most incredible fish tacos ever! I love my Mahi Mahi tacos from Rubios, but Pelly's are totally scrumptious.

We then went back to Karen's house with the intention of my asking her husband, Mike, what was his opinion of whether or not to get a port for the chemo, rather than having an IV inserted each time. Although I really did want his professional opinion, Karen and I wanted to see if he noticed it was a wig. He did, but didn't say anything until Karen asked him later.

From there I went to pick up Kyle from school and took him to get his driver's license. He passed with flying colors and was so excited. So now, be wary of driving in Escondido, as there's another 16 year-old on the road :) Kyle never noticed that I was wearing a wig. We stopped by Burger King to feed the starving teen, and my other adopted son, Sean, was working the drive-up. He too had no clue that I was wearing a wig - OK, they're teenage boys and don't notice too much with women, unless they are of the teenage years. Ka-ching! I had faked out 4 out of 6 people so far. When I got home, Tyler was there, and I could tell immediately that he knew it was a wig, because he kept looking at my hair. But, being the polite and courteous teen that he is, he never said a word.

The best part was when Denny came home a while later. We had dinner and sat at the dining room kitchen for at least 40 minutes before he says, "Hey, did you and Karen make it over to the wig place today?" I got this smirk on my face and he says, "No, you're not wearing it are you? How can I have known you for 24 years and not recognized that that was not your real hair?" Pretty funny...

As you can imagine, my fear of going bald has now totally diminished. Who cares if I can immediately pop on my wig and have insta-hair? Plus, Donna told me she knows how to put on fake eyelashes - too cool. My new-found disguises will be part of the inspiration to assist me in my quest for continuing my upbeat kick-cancer-in-the-ass attitude.

Drain free and pain free

Aaahhh.  I'm tellin' ya, it's the simple pleasures in life.  It feels so good to be able to sleep on my back without that annoying drain poking into me.  And, the fact that I'm no longer in pain and don't have to take the loopy pills is a good thing too.  So good, that I was able to get back to the Wii Fit this morning.

It's pretty funny in that on a lot of the yoga and balance games, I actually do a bit better than before because I can't raise my left arm above my shoulder, which ends up helping me to have better balance.  I feel like I'm cheating, but I really don't have a choice as my mobility is a long time coming. I was able to unlock the advanced step, and some longer reps with lunges, so I'm not feeling like such a slug.  I figure I better get the exercising in while I can as it will probably be touch and go as to when I'll feel like working out during chemo.  Yes, I'll take it easy, and will do only what I feel like doing.

Poor Gabe, is fit to be tied that we haven't walked in over 2 weeks. I'm still a bit nervous about him yanking me around with the leash, even though I'll only use my right hand.  Maybe in a couple of days I'll give it a go.

I'm getting very excited about going back to work on Monday, so am busily finishing up Christmas cards (I decided to make handmade ones this year), as well as a couple of quilt bindings that I keep putting off.

Breaking news...we just had our second earthquake today.  The first 4.1 quake hit at 4:34 am, and this one was at 9:42.  It was centered about 25 miles from our home, just north of Palomar Mountain, which is part of our beautiful easterly view.

We met with the bartender today

We call her the bartender because she'll create cocktails just for me. Now don't I feel special.

We knew I was going to have chemo because the the cancer had spread into the lymph nodes. What we didn't know is that it will be for 6 months instead of 4 months.  But you know what, that means I get to wear my wig longer so it's only $25/month for the wig.

The oncologist was concerned that it had spread into 11 lymph nodes and said they'd have to be more agressive with the chemo . We'll start with one cocktail every 3 weeks for 12 weeks, followed by another one for 12 more weeks. She gave me a cryptic note with abreviated names on them, but I guarantee you they're nothing as exciting as a mojito or a strawberry daiquiri.

First chemo dose starts the day before Thanksgiving.  Whaddaya think, should I make my pies 2 days early in case I'm not up to it Wednesday evening? Maybe I'll give the boys a crash course in turkey and fixins.

Yowza - who would have thought "milking" was so painful

We headed out to our appointment with the surgical nurse this morning, thinking that the drain would be removed - NOT!  I'm so sick of this thing, and the added swelling and sharp pain, made me a tad grouchier than usual. I know, Jane is snickering because even my grouchiest days don't compare to some of the PMS ladies she deals with (no names mentioned, of course).

I still was producing too much fluid, so she said I had to wait a couple of more days.  Then she goes on to say, didn't they "milk" your line while you were at urgent care? No, what's milking, I asked. Oh, she says, you need to purge the line of any clots that keep it from draining well. Apparently that was part of the problem with my swelling, in that the drain line was clogged, backed up and leaked at one point, then started draining tons, but not enough.

So she starts the process of pinching the line tight, next to where it's inserted in my back. Then she uses her pointer and thumb to squeeze and pull the fluid through the tube. That in itself was not that bad, but each time, as she released the pinched fingers at the top, it created a vacuum, which quickly and very painfully, sucked fluid out of my back. I am not one to cry easily, but I had tears streaming down my face while she did this 8 or 9 times. It actually took my breath away, it was so painful and felt like she jabbed a knife in my back each time. Clearly I hadn't taken enough drugs prior to the visit. I had 1.5 pills and was feeling a bit loopy, but had I known what I was in for, I would have taken more - or a shot of Cuervo Gold - or something.

I did discover, on my own, the next day, that if you keep the line pinched tight, and don't release it until you're at the very end, you can release it ever so slowly, and there is NO PAIN.  I'm going to tell her about my process, because I don't believe that you have to torture someone to get the line clean - yes, that's my humble opinion from Dr. Sue-C-Free.

After going home, the swelling and pain continued, so I doubled up on the pain meds (not something I'm used to doing) and took them every 4 hours to get me through the night. I took my phone off the hook, and Denny told any potential visitors that I was wiped out. He's awesome at protecting me. Of course if anybody had visited or gotten through on a call they either would have gotten me talking in my sleep or bumbling through a drug induced stupor.

I'll never forget my step-mom, JoAnn, as she was suffering in the nursing home. I came to visit one day after she had had morphine and she said, Sue, I just don't get why anyone would be a drug addict. I just hate feeling this wacked out.  I'm with ya, JoAnn, loopy is not a good thing.